You act so innocent. But I'm the benevolent overlord, remember? I know the inner workings of your mind. Also, I was 21 once. I'm pretty sure I know what waffles-the-food means - same thing 'a cup of coffee' used to mean.

Back in the olden days, 'do you want a cup of coffee' was the polite person's way of saying, 'wow, you're hot, let's go back to my place.' Essentially. Unless, as Eddie Izzard has made plain, it's the President of Burundi asking if you'd like a cup of coffee. In that case, he's probably just asking if you want some coffee.

Exactly! But watch out for Minion Number One. He's crafty and funny and makes good fried chicken. But you're worth more than a stack of waffles, Minion Number Two. Just keep that in mind.

Good girl. Star Wars tomorrow?

Done deal. I'll bring the popcorn.

Dear MN1,

Death by sibling is an honorable way to go.

Best,
BO

You might deserve it, but as your BO, it's my job to die before you. I'm a traditionalist that way.

I'm pretty much never going to stop pointing out the instances where you're bringing girls to the yard, MN1.

Right, but you're bringing her to the yard. She hasn't been brought yet. That's the whole point of me going, "You're bringing her to the yard."

Sure. But I've got my Overlordly eye on you, Minion Number One.