The X-Project

Firstly: I assume we're all aware of the school policy on alcohol for minors.  Good.

Secondly: As your guidance counsellor, I have the following warning to you all about the dangers of alcohol:

It'll make you feel like a right arsehole in the morning.  And in extreme situations, you may get a hell of a fright when you wake up next to someone either innapropriate or ugly.  God knows, I've done both, and I don't recommend either.

Consult your nearest doctor for a quide to the physical symptoms of over-indulgence, and the dangers of dependency.  If they bring out the picture of the liver, then they hate you, and are trying to make you throw up for laughs.

That's your warning.  Now, some clarifications.  Specifically, about things alcohol is not.

1) An excuse.  If you get drunk, and do something stupid, they you have done two stupid things - one, whatever it is you did, and two getting drunk enough to do it in the first place.  Expect to get a bollocking for both.

2) A crutch.  It will not make your life better, or your problems go away.  In fact, it will give a headache, and you'll still have all your old problems.  Attempting to use it like a crutch is stupid, and will only lead to problems.  For one thing, you may wind up on a twelve step program, and that means godbothering.

3) (And this is the really important thing, so pay attention.)  Something about which one can claim any kind of moral high ground.  You don't drink?  That's fine.  Bet you've done something extremely stupid at some other time, without the aid of a drink. (Which means you also did two stupid things: whatever it was, and the lapse of judgement that lead you to do whatever it was, and can expect a bollocking for both, too.)  I also bet that give a reasonable amount of time, and incentive, I can find out what.  If you are completely confident that you have never done anything stupid that you'd rather people not find out about, then by all means, point and laugh at others when they do something stupid.  By all means, assert your superiority.  It'll be nice to know who it is around here that's hiding all the answers.

I am aware that standards differ.  I am aware that some of you have been raised to believe that people who drink are all mad and evil, and out to do terrible things to your pets.  I am afraid to tell you that you have been lied to.  People who drink are just like you.  You do not get to tell them that they are Bad and Wrong, and they do not get to tell you that you are Boring and Stuck-Up, because neither thing is true.  If you attempt to use your own standards as some kind of yardstick by which others should live their lives, then you deserve all the mockery, ridicule and beating with sticks that you get.  If they work for you, then that's great, but it doesn't make you right.

For the record: I drink, I smoke, and I do other things that your parents would probably be appalled to hear about.  I am not a role model.  Accusing me of being a bad one would only be stating the blindingly bloody obvious.

I am not a role model, and nor should anyone else be expected to be, 24/7.  If you feel you need a role model 24/7, then I suggest attempting to organise some people into working shifts for you, or possibly just developing a personality of your own.  If you feel you are unable to tell when someone you look to as a role model is doing something stupid, and is not to be emulated, then I suggest enroling in some kind of class in remedial thinking.